The Spandex Quest
by Pinkypig
Summary: Willis has a job to do. He must stalk the Spandex duo Dai and Takeru and write down thier daily lives of super heroes. Their biggest mission is to rescue the king of ties wife Sora from the evil Dr. Haircut, Matt.
1. Default Chapter

Hello and welcome. 

I do not own Digimon or any of it's characters. 

Enjoy the story.

* * *

What really happened by Willis. 

Hi my name is Willis and Kari only wants me not those spandex loving freaks! Anyway on with the story. You may have heard the ending go something like Matt was an astronaut, Tai was some ambassador or something like that. It was something to do with who did what and so on.

All that stuff was just a bunch of junk that Takeru had made up and someone had gotten a hold of. I mean please Taichi an ambassador!? I'd be surprised if that kid even got out of school. Well, he did and now sells ties. Tai the ties salesman it's great isn't it?

Anyway here's the truth. Matt never married Sora or had kids with Sora. Sora married Tai which made Matt turn evil. Matt runs a hair salon where he works out his evil plans to destroy Tai. Myotismon never actually died and works for Matt in his hair salon. Mimi is another one of Matt's assistants, but she has no idea what Matt is really about. Everyone knows that Joe became a doctor, but just what kind of doctor did he become? He became a plastic surgeon making loads of money by making people look better, or worse.

I don't know what happened to Ken and Yolei. They did get married I think and then had a bunch of kids. They haven't had much contact with anyone because they are always on vacations to try to avoid their many kids. If you didn't want that many kids than you should have thought about that before . . .well you know.

Moving on. I think that Cody died a few days ago or something. He got hit by a train after leaving his law office. He really did become a lawyer. It's hard to believe that a kid who can't lie became someone who's life is all about lying. Unless lawyers really tell the truth. Spandex man and Elastic boy were supposed to rescue Cody, but they were to busy helping the damsel in distress pick out a dress for a party.

Who is Spandex man and Elastic boy? Well, Davis is Spandex man and Elastic boy is his sidekick Takeru. The damsel? Kari of course, who else could draw those two pinheads from their work? They offered me a spot on their super hero team, but I refused. I don't want to prance around in tights and spandex with stupid goggles on my head!

Now about Izzy. Izzy is making loads of money off of those two buffoons Spandex man and Elastic boy. He's the one who sends them on their missions. He gets a call from someone saying that they need saving and for a small fee ($400 an hour) Izzy will get the Spandex duo out there to save the day. I think that they have saved a total of two people out of the seven hundred and forty-six people that called. One of them being Kari who calls often. The other being Jun who told the two that they were out of milk so they needed to pick some up on the way home. They live with Jun and thought that this was a life or death situation, so really they were saving themselves from Jun.

**The beginning of my quest, Location: On the way to the lavender castle.**

Yesterday I got an email from Izzy about one of the Spandex duo's biggest missions. He told me that this would be a great opportunity for my writing career if I follow them on this mission and record everything down. I will be making loads of money off of these two by recording the hilarious story about their daily lives of super heroes. It seems that the only ones who aren't making money off of those two are themselves.

About the mission, it is a mission where they will have to save Sora from the unfavorable Dr. Haircut. You would think that Matt would have thought up a more clever name for himself, but whatever.

Anyway, Tai called Izzy at 1:56 A.M. and told him that he woke up to go to the bathroom to find his wife missing. There was a note on Tai's bedside table telling him that he would never see Sora again unless he divorced her, signed the ever so wonderful Dr. Haircut. Tai being the guy that he is, Tai, he went away to go find someplace to divorce Sora. This is when he ran into Cody who told Tai to call Izzy before doing anything. Tai listened to his short younger friend and left him to walk on to his doom.

After leaving Cody Tai called up Izzy for some help. Tai was not really expecting the genius to be up at these early hours of the morning, but he was. I don't think that kid ever sleeps ever since that horrid day Matt's dad pulled him into a closet with him. Please no dirty thoughts! I know you all had them! Matt's dad was only saving the boys life by hiding him. But it scared poor Shiro right out of his shoes. He loved those shoes and Matt's dad stole them to give to Matt!!

So what was I really talking about before the closet incident? Oh yes, Tai called up Izzy to see if he could help. Izzy emailed me their conversation, it went like this:

"Izzy someone kidnapped Sora and some little creepy Star Wars guy told me to call you! What do I do?" Tai said.

"Well, first tell me was there a note?"

"Of course there was a note! What person kidnaps someone and doesn't leave a note!" Tai said.

"A lot of people Tai. If someone knew a persons handwriting then they could easily get them. What did the note say Tai?"

"It tells me to divorce Sora or I'll never see her again!"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! You could just get remarried once you get a divorce. Unless the person is going to keep her, marry her and then you'll never see her again anyway! Besides doesn't Sora need to sign the divorce papers too? Who thinks your that stupid to believe such a thing? Don't answer that question Tai." Izzy said.

"Izzy you think too much. What are we going to do about this guy?"

"Who wrote the note Tai? Does it say?"

"Dr. Haircut."

"Of course it all makes sense now. Tai who hates you, loves your wife and is totally obsessed with hair?"

"Umm. . .the boogie monster?"

"It's Matt you moron!"

"Why would Matt do such a thing? We're best friends."

"What have I told you about trusting your friends?"

"Not to because they will only stab you in the back, but he didn't stab me in the back he took my wife!"

"Tai your not that stupid. You're starting to sound like Davis."

"Hey that's not cool man!"

"I'll tell Spandex man and Elastic boy your problem and they'll get on the case right away. Since you're my friend I'll give you a discount."

"Are you going to stab me in the back?"

"No, I'm going to help you get your wife back, but for a fee."

"But I'm your friend!"

"You're my rich friend."

So the mission went to Spandex man and Elastic boy who didn't know what was going on at first. Izzy was speaking to them over an intercom and they couldn't figure out where the voice was coming from. Soon they decided that it didn't matter because someone was in danger!

I have a meeting with Izzy this afternoon at his house, the lavender castle. I've never met Izzy before so I'm kind of nervous about this meeting. I don't know what kind of horrors lie in that lavender castle. It's just so lavender, so, so lavender.

The meeting with the genius, Location: Lavender castle

When I got to the lavender castle I was a little confused and scared. Half of the castle looked welcoming and pretty. The other half could use some yard work and especially did not look welcoming at all. Maybe someone lived in one half of the castle and someone else lived in the other. Which half did Izzy live in?

I didn't have a choice but to go into the half that was ugly because some block guy dragged me into it. The block person brought me into a very dark and gloomy dining room to wait for Izzy. Of course he never showed. Instead I was left to listen to his voice.

"So Willis, how are you doing?" He said.

"Well, I'm a little freaked out right now. What's up with the block men?"

"They protect me from evil."

"Who? Matt's dad?"

"Who told you that? Was it Davis? I told him not to tell!"

"You know he can't keep a secret."

"It's a lie I tell you a lie! Anyway on with business. I want you to follow SM and EB around. Don't let them know that you are following them or you will have to suffer the consequences. Also, you must record down everything they do and say." he said.

"Is this an advertisement so you can make more money?" I said.

"Of course, we'll both get rich."

"Brilliant."

* * *

Please Review 


	2. Hair Salon

Hello, I'm back. Thank you to my one reviewer. I love you lots! Only not really because that would be weird. Anyway, I don't own Digimon, the game Clue, Bon Jovi, the song Love Stinks, and anything else that I don't own. So I own nothing, did you get that? Okay now that we all understand let us continue with the story.

* * *

I went off to go find Davis and TK after my little meeting with Izzy. The two super heroes were at a pawn shop pawning a ring that they more then likely stole. After they were done in there they started there mission. From behind a mailbox I saw and heard everything. They were arguing with each other about the whereabouts of Matt.

"He's your brother you should know these things." Davis said.

"I don't know where he is. Last I heard he was in a band. Maybe he's on tour with them."

"That was when we were in school, TA."

"My name isn't TA, jerk face, it's TK."

"That's not what your name tag says."

"That's because you made the name tag and you don't know my name."

"I didn't make you a name tag."

"Yes you did! You made one for yourself too. You said you didn't want to forget your name."

"Well some evil dude could come and bang you on the head with a candlestick!"

"Like that's ever going to happen."

"It could!"

"Yeah, in the conservatory by Mr. Green."

"I hate that guy."

"Dai he's a board game character."

"He is not I saw him."

"And I saw the boogie man."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he was getting his hair done at my brother's hair salon."

"Why did you go to a hair salon?"

"Haven't you ever noticed my perfect hair?"

"No, you're always wearing a hat."

"I like my hat."

"What are we supposed to be doing?" Daisuke said. I truly believe that Sora is doomed with these to as the heroes. Anyway, back to the conversation.

"I think we're supposed to go find Matt." The ever so "clever" sidekick said.

"At his hair salon?"

"Yeah, and maybe when we're there we can get our hair done. You would look so cute with highlights Davis."

"You think so?"

"Yeah."

After I recovered from their insane conversation I made my way to the hair salon. It was a rectangular building at the edge of town and evil surrounded it. Well, if you think the color pink, roses, bunnies and rainbows are evil anyway. It was the strangest thing I have ever seen in my entire life really. There was also a hole in the shape of someone's hair above the door and Myotismon was peeking his head out of it.

Once he saw the two bozos making their way to the salon he quickly disappeared. He probably went to go warn Matt. I then watched as TK attempted to pull the door open. He was pulling, and pulling, and pulling some more until the door opened from inside and Matt stood in the doorway pointing to the sign on the door that said push.

"I tell you every time you come here that it's a push door. See it says push right here. Can't you read? And I thought I told you not to come here dressed like that. You're so embarrassing." Matt said.

"We're here on business." Davis said.

Matt hesitated for a second before letting the two losers into the salon. I was left outside with the many disgusting rabbits. I quickly put on a fake mustache before I too entered the salon. As Mimi was showing me into a chair Myotismon's son was hard at work on TK's hair.

"Did Izzy send you here?" Matt asked his brother.

"Somebody did. Whoever it was probably has magical powers because we couldn't see him at all." Davis said as he looked at a hair magazine.

"Were you sent here to get Sora?" Matt said.

"Yeah that was probably it." Takeru said.

"Well you can't have her! She loves me not that idiot Taichi." Matt yelled.

"Sorry, we didn't know. We'll tell Izzy about it when our hair is done." TK said.

"Hey Matt are you going to finish my hair? I have a duel against Kaiba in an hour." Some guy with triangular hair said from the corner of the room.

"Sorry Yugi."

Matt went back to his work as Myotismon showed Davis to his seat. I listened closely to what Davis wanted done with his hair before I was distracted by a man walking in. The man was dressed in a red shirt and looked very familiar somehow. He quickly put up a missing poster for a hat and left the salon. The hat looked very familiar too. Where have I seen it before?

Before I could figure out where I've seen that hat before Mimi began to do weird things to my hair. I forgot about the hat for now and focused on listening to Davis and TK's conversation.

"I have a date with Kari tomorrow so I want to look my best." Davis said.

"You don't have a date with Kari." Takeru said.

"I would if it wasn't for that stupid American kid. Who does he think he is stealing my woman like that? The nerve of him." Davis said.

"Davis, she never was your woman and never will be your woman. It's like Matt and Sora. Matt wants Sora, but Sora only has eyes for Tai." TK said.

"And Tai wants somebody else?" Davis said.

"No."

"That's what the song told me!"

"What song?"

"That one song. The one that goes 'you love her, but she loves him, and he loves somebody else, you just can't win. And so it goes until the day you die. . ."

"That's enough Davis." Myotismon said.

"But I want to sing!"

"I'll kill you if you sing anymore." Myotismon said.

Davis then began to hum the tune to the song. I heard a scream and saw Myotismon standing over Davis with a candlestick. Then I witnessed TK reach over and steal Davis's name tag from his shirt and stick it on his own. After this Myotismon took the body of Davis and dragged it into the back room.

"You didn't kill him did you? I just got back from court you know." Matt said.

"He's just unconscious." Myotismon said.

"I think we need a doctor." Matt said.

Someone tried to get in the door at that moment, but was obviously pulling instead of pushing. So I did what anyone would do and opened the door for the poor idiotic person.

"Did somebody call for a doctor?" We all shook are heads at the ridiculous person that was Joe.

"Hey Joe." Matt said.

"I'm a doctor!"

"We know Joe." Matt said.

"Does somebody need my assistance?"

"Yeah Davis was hit over the head with a candlestick." Myotismon said.

"Dangerous business, that super hero stuff is. Did anyone see who did it?"

"It wasn't me." Myotismon said as he hid the candlestick behind his back.

"Maybe it was Mrs. White."

Joe began to do doctor things to Davis, he then woke up and hit his head on a sign. He yelled out in pain before falling unconscious again.

"Isn't that interesting. Don't worry I got him. We have to go save people now. Bon Jovi is having a concert and I have to go steal the batteries in his microphone." TK said.

"How is that saving people?" Matt said.

"Have you ever heard the guy sing?"

"I like Bon Jovi."

TK grabbed hold of Daisuke's legs and dragged him out the door. I was about to get up and follow them when a hand stopped me. The hand belonged to no other then Matt, the evil Dr. Haircut. He wanted his payment for my haircut. I dug through my pockets searching for my wallet, but it was no where to be found. Matt understood and told me if I helped him out with a few things I would be able to go. What a nice guy, or so I thought.

* * *

What evil does the notorious Dr. Haircut have in store for our dear Willis? Will he ever make it out alive? Of course he will silly, he's the main character. Please review, it will make me oh so happy.


	3. Dr Haircut

This is a short chapter, but I didn't want to type anymore. Not that anyone cares, though. I get no reviews. I'm so sad. Thank you to my two reviewers. I guess I get one per chapter. Whatever, I'm still going to continue it.

* * *

Matt took me into the back room where there were a bunch of hair styling books. He pulled on the bright pink one in the bottom corner to reveal a secret passage way. At this point so many thoughts and questions raced through my head.

This is a little weird. Does he actually think I'm coming with him? Maybe he wants me to join his side. I wonder what Kari would do. I wonder what Matt's house is like. And what exactly is he going to make me do? I hope it's nothing to dangerous. Did I remember to lock my house before leaving?

Anyway, Matt led me through the secret passage and to the other side. I was guessing that the other side was Matt's house, but I couldn't quit tell because it was decorated with tea pots and was bright yellow.

I was then brought into the living room(purplish in color and actually quit lovely) and then from there to the basement. The basement was rather cold and upsetting. It reminded me more of a dungeon then a basement. The spider webs and dust bunnies made me wonder if he actually came down here at all.

"This is my basement." Matt said.

"I realized as it is underneath your house. Now, why are we here?"

"I think you know why your here."

"No, I really don't."

"To pay me for your haircut."

"Oh yeah."

"Sora my darling, can you come out here please?"

Sora came out from the shadows looking perfectly normal, except the dark rings under her eyes and the black ring around her neck. I think I remember Izzy telling me about these rings. Ken used them to control digimon. That no good hair dresser was controlling Sora with that horrid thing!

"Where's your wedding dress? I thought I told you to try it on?"

"I can't find it. I went upstairs to find you and came back to find it missing." Sora said.

"There's a thief in town! Maybe I should call up Izzy and get Spandex man on the case. The thief already took the spiderman doll I had up in my window." Matt said.

"Spandex man is after you though. You can't let them get me! I don't want to go back to Tai!"

"You! You can find the thief." Matt said to me.

"Me? I don't think I could do that. I'm already on this mission that I'm kind of behind on, so. . ."

"If you don't do this I'll feed you to Myotismon." Matt said.

"Okay, I'll do it. I have to go now so I can continue stalking your brother." I think I almost blew my cover, but Matt didn't seem to notice and Sora was insane.

Matt showed me to the door after this. The surroundings looked familiar for some odd reason. I then saw a block man pass me and I knew right away that I was back at the lavender castle. Matt lived in the half that was decorated with pretty flowers and was very welcoming. Strange for someone so evil, but this is Matt were talking about. I shook my head and continued on my way in search for the spandex duo. I had made up my mind now that everyone was insane.

* * *

There will be about one or two more chapters, depending on how much I want to type when I decide to update.  REVIEW PEOPLE! I love reviews. 


	4. Insanity

Oh man, school sucks. Not only is it incredibly boring but it distracts me from the more important things in life. Actually I think school is the most important thing right now and that's why I haven't been updating my stories. I said in my last chapter that it could possibly finish in one chapter. I have decided to type two more chapters, counting this one. It's just because there's still a lot to go. So on with the story with the characters that I don't own.

* * *

Reminder: Willis lost the spandex duo and is now in search for them so he can continue his "mission"

* * *

Names and Stupid conversations. 

Location: In the bushes.

I found the two spandex idiots in some small café. They were playing some weird card game that I was not familiar with. I moved closer to get a better view of things. I heard things like 'Blue Eyes' and 'Purple Magic Man'. Then they began to have a somewhat normal conversation.

"That's not his name Davis." Takeru said.

"I don't care what his name is TY, this is a dumb game! I quit!" Davis said as he threw his cards at Takeru.

"You can't quit like that! You have to put your hand. . ."

"I don't have to put my hand anywhere, TL."

Takeru, however, wasn't paying attention to his friend anymore. Instead he was busy trying to steal Davis's goggles from atop the boys head. Though Davis is a stupid fellow he wasn't that stupid not to notice what Takeru was doing. He quickly slapped the boys hand away and glared at him.

"I just want to see them Daisuke. They are so very pretty. I just wanted to hold them in my hand." Takeru said.

"No, you were trying to steal them! You wanted them so you could be leader. . ." Davis glanced over at Takeru's name tag. "Davis TA! What kind of name is that? The TA is fine, but Davis? What were your parents on when they named you? That's a stupid name."

"Dai, please let me hold your goggles! I'll let you have Ken."

"What makes you think I want Ken?"

"He's very fun to play with."

"If I think to much into that I get dirty thoughts." Davis said.

"Well, I didn't mean anything dirty about it. It's just fun to toy with his emotions. Or whatever I do to him. I make him cry."

"That's Ken for you. He's very emotional now that he doesn't have his whip and he's married to the devil."

"True."

"One time he offered to sell me one of his kids. It was pretty cool. I almost got a kid for twenty cents, but then that devil woman came home." Davis said.

"Well he does have about twenty kids. I'd want to get rid of a few myself."

"Someday when Kari and I get married we'll have twenty kids."

"Kari's mine you moron!" I said as I popped out of the bushes.

"Ah! A man just popped out of the bushes and tried to kill me!" Davis said.

"I did not." I said.

"Then what were you doing popping out of the bushes like that? Didn't you know that only scary people with axes are aloud to hide in bushes. It's so they can surprise and attack the person they're going to kill. It's genius, who would ever think to look in the bushes?"

"Shut up Dai, your an idiot. Hello Wallace!" Takeru said.

"That is not my name!"

"Yeah it is. Isn't it?" Takeru said.

"I don't know anymore."

"So you don't know your name, huh? Well just answer us this one question, why have you been stocking us?" Takeru said.

"I haven't been stocking you. I've been stalking you. Your such a moron."

"How do you know which one I was talking about?"

"Because you're a moron."

"Who sent you? Was it Yamato?" Takeru asked.

"Who's that?"

"Matt, you know my brother. The other guy with blond hair."

"Oh. No, I was sent by Koushiro."

"Who's that?" Both Takeru and Davis asked.

"Izzy." They both still looked confused.

"The short guy with the laptop." I said.

"Short kid? You mean the creepy one that died?" Davis said.

"He didn't carry around a laptop." Takeru said.

"No, I think he carried around a light saber. Didn't he?" Davis said.

"You guys are morons! Izzy, your boss. The voice that you've been hearing. The guy who tells you where to go on you missions!" I said.

"I thought that was God! You mean this whole time I wasn't working for the big man himself?"

"No Dai, you weren't. Unless Izzy is really God." Takeru said.

"Anyway, how is your mission going?" I asked.

"What mission?" Davis said.

"You know the one where you have to save Sora from Yamato and return her to Taichi."

"Whoa, who's Yamato?" TK asked.

"You really are stupid aren't you? Yamato is your brother." I said.

"I say that we should decide on something to call people by and then leave it at that. I am. . ." Davis looks for his name tag. "I forgot my name!" He said.

"Your name is Davis." I said.

"No, his name is Davis. Look at his name tag." Davis said.

"Your Daisuke." Takeru said.

"That sounds good. I like it. Daisuke. I am Daisuke. Daisuke, Daisuke, Daisuke."

"Okay, we get that your name is Daisuke. Now shut up!" I yelled.

"Don't need to get mad. I know my name is better than yours. Willis."

"Yeah, anyway, he's Takeru."

"No, he's Davis! Can't you read you moron!" Daisuke yelled.

"I don't really like that name, Daisuke. I like Takeru. What do you think the last two letters are for?"

"Fine your Takeru. Your brother is Yamato and Tai is Tai." Daisuke said.

"Okay, then the boss man is Shiro, because it's way cooler then Koushiro and Izzy." Takeru said.

"And that creepy kid with the ugly haircut is Cody." Daisuke said.

"I think that pretty much covers everyone with double names." Takeru said.

"What about my beloved Hikari?" I said.

"Who's that?" Daisuke said.

"It's Kari you moron!" Takeru said.

"I knew that. I was just joking. I like them both. I can't decide." Daisuke said.

"Let's just call her Hikari Kari." Takeru said.

"I like it! Now, I have to go back to stalking you. Bye guys." I said.

I went back to my cozy bushes and watched as Takeru successfully tricked Daisuke into giving him his goggles. Once they were bored with their silly card game they began to throw the cards at each other. This resulted in them being kicked out of the café.

* * *

Picnicking at the beach with a moron. 

Location: A trash can.

They ran out so fast that I lost them. I searched and searched and finally I found Takeru at the beach pretending to be a life guard. I don't know where Daisuke went off to, but I suppose Takeru probably murdered him.

Anyway, back to the moron at the beach. He was wearing Daisuke's super hero suit and goggles parading around like an idiot. After five minutes of pretending to drown (no one even bothered to rescue the idiot) he decided to get rid of everyone by telling them that pirates were coming. Surprisingly, everyone at the beach believed him.

These things shouldn't come as a surprise to me anymore. I should be used to the insanity. I should be ready for anything. I'm afraid, however, that I will never get used to this nonsense. It just doesn't make any sense. I truly believe that the digital world has screwed with their heads and now they're all mental. I'm so glad that I didn't go to the digital world.

"Cool, I got rid of everyone by telling them a ridiculous lie. People are so silly, aren't they Hook's hook?"

Great, now the lunatic is talking to a hook on his hand. This kid is the worst of them all. And now he's setting up a picnic. It looks like he's going to have a romantic date. I wonder who could be so important where he would set up candles, pour some glasses of . . .prune juice.

Okay, I can't take this anymore. I'm out of here.

Okay, I would be out of here only Hikari Kari has just shown up and I'm worried about her. What worries me more is now Takeru is dancing around with a wedding dress. What does this mean? Is Hikari Kari cheating on me with this moron?

"My darling, Hikari Kari, how are you?" Takeru said.

"Why is everyone calling me Hikari Kari?"

"Because it's your name silly. Some prune juice, my love."

"Did you steal this from Cody's Grandfather?"

"No, Takeru is a good boy. He doesn't steal."

"Takeru your such a moron!" Hikari Kari said.

"I love it when you get angry with me. Please accept this wedding dress and run away with me to Vegas where we can be married in a drive threw and then fly to Australia together." Takeru said.

"That wedding dress is Sora's and those tickets are Ken's and Miyako's! You're a thief Takeru!"

"So that would be a. . ." Takeru said.

"No, Takeru, I can't marry you. I'm in love with Willis."

YES! In your face Takeru, she loves me. Not you, but me. This is where I do my victory dance and start laughing hysterically.

"Is that trash can laughing at me?" Takeru said.

"Yes, because it knows your a loser."

"I am not. And I don't care if you don' t want to marry me. I'd look better in this dress anyway. I know, I'll marry myself and then I'll take these tickets and board the plane to Australia that left an hour ago!"

"Your such a moron!"

Hikari Kari then left the poor idiotic boy alone on the sandy beach. I kind of feel sorry for the guy. Wait, no I don't. He tried to get with my girlfriend he deserved to be rejected.

"We sure fooled her didn't we? She thinks that we actually want to marry her.(Evil Laugh) She only wishes." Takeru then pulled Hikari Kari's arm warmers out of his picnic basket. "We are so clever. So, so clever. Some may even say that we are an evil genius."

Evil genius isn't quit what I would call him. More like a nutcase. He's insane. He's sitting there talking to him self. Okay, talking to yourself is okay to do sometimes, but he's talking to himself like there's two of him.

"We shall make the prettiest costume for the ball. That we will. We'll be the prettiest girl there." Takeru said.

This is where I freak out and run for my life. Takeru just referred to himself as a girl. I hope that his brother hasn't gotten to him. He probably did. How else could one explain his insanity. Now I really do feel sorry for the guy.

Somehow I had run all the way to the lavender castle. And, somehow, Takeru had beaten me there. Worse yet he was wearing the wedding dress. Not only that, but Hikari Kari's arm warmers and Ken's old cape.

"Hey Willis! Have you come for Yamato's party. I love your costume, but don't you think that it will be a little hard to dance in a trash can?" Takeru asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, you're in that trash can aren't you? How can you dance when the music comes on?"

"No, I don't mean. . ." I got out of the trash can that I was hiding in. "Why is Yamato having a party?"

"It's his birthday, so he decided to have a party. Better yet, he decided to have a costume party." Takeru said.

"Oh. Well, tell your brother happy birthday for me. I think I'm just going to turn in for the night. See you later then." I said.

"No, no, no, no, no, you're coming to this party Willis." Takeru then began to pull things out of his bag. "Can you hold this." He then handed me a lamp.

"These will look lovely in your hair." He said. He then put Hikari Kari's hair clips into my hair. "Let's see what else do I have? Some ties that I got from Tai's Ties, this blue shirt that resembles Tai's old one, but it's really mine. This hat that sort of looks like Sora's old one. And this Frosty the Snow Man hat from my last mission." Takeru said.

"You killed Frosty!" I yelled.

"That stupid snow man was asking for it. Anyway, you can wear this blue shirt with this suit jacket and put this tie on. Good, now Frosty's hat. There now your my groom, we're going to get married. Oh, I'm so happy Willis!"

I should have stayed in Colorado.

* * *

And that will be all for this chapter. The next will be the end. The greatest party of all time and the shocking conclusion. 


	5. Party

How did I get myself into this? What will Hikari Kari say when she sees me like this? I shouldn't have come here at all. Not at all. Shiro said that it would help my career, but the only thing this is doing is driving me insane.

Takeru dragged me into the nicely decorated side of the castle and we were then greeted by Myotismon and his son, Meotimo.

"Looking good Myotismon! A vampire? Nice." Takeru said. "And Meotimo, baby, good to see you again. And what may I ask you are?"

"I am death. And you are?"

"I'm a bride and this is my honey. I'll see you guys later okay." Takeru said.

He pulled me into the living room where everyone else was. They were all dancing to the music and having a great time. After Takeru told me Meotimo was a freak and not to talk to him, he gave me Myotismon's mask. How does he do it? I didn't even notice him take it.

"Okay, now tell me, which goggles should I wear? Ken's or Dai's? Is that his name? I forgot already. So which ones?"

"Ken's."

"I was thinking the same thing!"

Takeru then dragged me over to Tai and Yamato to give Yamato his present. It really didn't surprise me that Tai was here. Not only is he an idiot, but they're all insane. It just doesn't make any sense. Yamato kidnapped his wife. He should be angry, but he's not.

"Whoa, Matt what happened to your hair?" Takeru said.

"I was going to come as Tai to my party, but someone must have switched the hair dye from brown to pink. Then I didn't have any time to dye it again. What are you supposed to be?"

"I'm a bride, can't you tell?"

"You're so weird Takeru. I disown you." Yamato said.

"You can't disown me!"

"I think I just did."

"Who's he?" Tai asked.

"Oh, him? He's my boyfriend. . .um. . .Hugo. Isn't he hot!" Takeru said.

"Help Me." I whimpered.

That's when Hikari Kari came up and hugged her brother. Her beauty is so. . .beautiful. I just can't describe it. I could stare at her for hours. I love her.

"Who's your friend Takeru?" She asked. I can't believe she doesn't recognize me! I'm just wearing a stupid mask!

"He's not my friend. He's my lover."

"I am not! That's disgusting Takeru!" I pushed him away from me and stormed off.

Yamato found me and led me into the basement. He said he had something important to talk to me about. I hope he wasn't going to kill me for some odd reason. Actually, I hope he did kill me. Then I wouldn't have to deal with this craziness any longer.

"What' s up with my brother?"

"I don't know! He's creeping me out though. He's so crazy and do you know what? I think he's the thief." I said.

"Well, tonight he will be stopped. I will put a stop to them all. You see it's all just a trap. Get all the enemies into one spot and then get rid of them all. First all do away with Spandex man and his pathetic excuse for a sidekick. Then I'll get rid of Shiro and lastly, Tai." Then he laughed all evil and stuff.

"What about everyone else?"

"They're just here for the party. You and Kari can leave after it and get married or whatever. Ken and that girl can also go. I think they're evil like me. That' s cool. And Cody is already dead so I don't have to worry about him."

Just then someone entered the room. It was Cody.

"I'm sorry to interrupt. Tai told me that the restroom was down here." He said.

"Oh yeah, so is the bathroom, powder room, washroom, shower room, and the lavatory." Yamato said.

Cody made his way down the hall to whichever one had the toilet in it. Yamato and I stared at the door in shock for awhile. Cody is supposed to be dead. We then heard a flush from the toilet and Cody came back out. He looked at us funny before returning upstairs.

"Isn't he supposed to be dead?" Yamato asked.

"Kill him first. He's creepy." I said.

"Are you joining the dark side?" Yamato asked.

"It's the only side that makes any sense. Sort of. Today, your brother joined a band, with your guitar I might add. He also decided that he was going to be a doctor and took all of Joe's patients. He used Mimi's scissors on them. It was disgusting. After that he somehow tricked Tai into giving him half of his money. He then had Peter Pan's shadow follow him around for about and hour. Also he kept talking to the hook on his left hand. Your brother is insane!" I said.

"I know, look he gave me Shiro's shoes for my birthday."

That's when we heard shouting from upstairs and decided to investigate. When we got upstairs we found Takeru standing on the coffee table pointing a stick at people and screaming like a maniac. What a loser.

"Nobody move or I'll hit you with my stick!" He yelled.

"Takeru you look like a moron get off the coffee table." Yamato said.

"No, I won't get off. I'm taking over this castle." He said.

I grabbed him by the cape and dragged him into a corner.

"What are you doing you moron?" I asked.

"I'm taking over the castle." He said.

"You said that already. Why are you taking over the castle? This is your brother's house."

"I thought you would want a nice place to live once we're married. I didn't think you wanted to live in Jun's basement with me and Daisuke." He said.

"WE ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED YOU IDIOT!"

The music then stopped and everyone stared at us. I was standing over Takeru with my fists raised and he was crammed in the corner about ready to cry. They probably thought I was an abusive boyfriend or something. But I'm not! I'm not his boyfriend and I'm not abusive!

"I thought you loved me!" Takeru yelled. He then began to cry uncontrollable.

"This is embarrassing. You're such a freak Takeru. Never talk to me again." I said.

"We were going to get married!"

"No we weren't! You're just a MORON and thought we were going to get married. I have a girlfriend Takeru!" I yelled.

Everyone gasped and Takeru slapped me in the face. Why am I even still here? This is dumb. These people are all idiots. Some guy wants me to marry him. My girlfriend is now slapping me in the face and screaming at me because I broke Takeru's heart. I'm having a bad day.

"Hikari! Stop hitting me! Why don't you people listen to me? Takeru and I were never together. How could we be if I'm going out with you Hikari?" I was slapped for this too.

"Willis?"

"Yes!" And slapped again.

"How dare you cheat on me!" She then ran away crying.

"I think I need a drink." I said.

"I know how you feel." Shiro said from the sofa.

I was in shock. Shiro was here in person. He was here in this very room, with all these people, sitting on the sofa. He was staring at a box of shoes looking totally confused. I sat next to him and we were soon joined by Yamato.

"Sorry about my brother Willis." He said.

"You don't need to apologize." I said.

"Are those my shoes?" Yamato asked Shiro.

"Are those my shoes?" Shiro asked Yamato. They both switched the boxes that they had.

"Why are we enemies Yamato?" Shiro said.

"I don't know. Maybe if we joined sides. . ."

"We'd be unstoppable." Shiro said.

The two stared at each other for a long time. And when I say long, I mean long. While they were staring at each other Daisuke successfully played Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on the piano with his feet. My Hikari Kari found a new boyfriend, Meotimo. And Myotismon killed Cody and tried to hide his body in vase.

The staring contest was only interrupted when Takeru crashed through a wall with a bus. I wonder how long the staring would have went on if he didn't crash through that wall. Oh well, the world shall never know.

Anyway, Takeru came out of the bus and laughed. He then did this weird dance thing that no one should ever have to witness. It was just disturbing. The kid can't dance at all. Not that I'm a good dancer or anything, but at least I can dance better than that. What was he thinking?

"Sorry to crash your party! I am Lord Blondie and I will be the cause of your doom!" Takeru said.

"You stole my evil name!" Yamato yelled.

"I thought your name was Dr. Haircut?" I asked.

"That was a dumb name. I changed it a long time ago. Where have you been?" Yamato said.

"Shut up you fools! Now, your doom! Come my evil slaves!" Takeru said. And just like that we were surrounded by thousands of block men.

"And this was my plan! I was going to take control of the block men that protect Shiro's side of the castle. I was going to bring doom upon everyone. And then I was going to marry the woman I love!" Yamato yelled.

"You were to slow and now I will take your plans into action. All except for that last one. Well, I am going to marry someone, but he's not a woman. Unless you got a sex change without telling me Willis!"

He's such a moron. Why is he looking at me like that? What is he saying to those block men? Oh no, they are coming for me. Whatever am I going to do? Actually, I'm not scared. Well, I don't really want to marry him, but at least I know he's not going to kill me.

"Don't worry my love I won't hurt you." Takeru said.

"Why are you having this thing carry me off then?"

"It's for your protection, love."

Protection from what? Him?

* * *

For a while I didnt know what was going on because one of those big block things were taking me away to the bus, that crashed into the wall and made me scream like a little girl. Then when I could see, again everyone was running, around screaming. And then Takeru and Yamato got into this sword fight and it was so cool! I was like whoa and oh no, and stuff like that. It was ,pretty exciting. Not like a soccer game, though. Soccer is so much better. Oh, but, guess what, Takeru is so hot. He's even hotter when he's fighting for me. I wish he would just hurry up and kill all these people so we could hurry up and get married. I think I want Daisuke to be my best man, so I'll let Takeru spare him. He is my best friend after all. And then after I'm married to Takeru, the charming and ever so intelligent Daisuke can have Hikari Kari. He'll just have to push Miotimo into some sunlight or something, and, then presto Hikari Kari is mine. . .I mean his. Yeah, that's what I mean.

* * *

Sorry about that. I dropped my notebook when those freaks carried me off. Stupid Daisuke, he totally made me sound like a retard. And has he ever heard of grammar or paragraphs. He just put commas everywhere. What a loser.

Okay, Yamato and Takeru are sword fighting. Everyone else is standing around watching. Mimi is drooling over Yamato. Hey, a lot of people are drooling over Yamato. Miyako even had a puddle on the floor.

That's when Ken and her started fighting and everyone's attention was focused onto them.

"I can't believe your looking at other men like that!" Ken yelled.

"You were looking at them too!" Miyako yelled.

"I wasn't drooling over them."

"No, you were picturing them naked!" Miyako said.

"How did you know? I mean, no I wasn't." Miyako glared at Ken and he glared back.

"I . . .love you." Ken said.

"Okay!" Miyako said and pulled her husband into a big bear hug.

That's when it happened. First we all heard a horrible scream. Then we all turned to find a bald Yamato. Takeru had shaved his head when all the attention was on Ken and Miyako. And that was the downfall of Yamato.

* * *

Hahahahahahahahaha, Yamato is bald. Look at him. And I Daisuke once again have the notebook. Mwhahahahahahaha. Stupid Willis was in to two too. . .um . . .well, he was in shock and dropped this thing. Now I have it once again. Dude, I could make millions off this thing. Yeah, I could just say I wrote it. I'm a genius!

Anyway, back to the not so important people. Yamato was crying his eyes out about being bald. Teehee! He's bald. (Look Willis a second paragraph!) Takeru was over on the coffee table doing a victory dance. It's funny because I just polished that table and oh. . . there he goes. Haha, TA fell off the table. I saw his underpants! This is so funny. . .can't . . .breath.

* * *

Daisuke collapsed from laughing so hard. He will probably die. Let us hope so. I am Miotimo and I . . .will help you make your breathe minty fresh!

"Miotimo, get away from that notebook! I'll kill you!" My father said.

I hate my father with a passion. Does anyone else hate their father with a passion? A passion. He wants me to cut my hair and dye it blonde. I like the color black, it fits the darkness in my soul. He also suggests that I should shower more often. I shower two times a day what more could you ask for?

* * *

"Get away from my boyfriends notebook you creepy kid!" That is when I, Lord Blondie, saved the notebook from that creepy kid of death.

What is this thing anyway? Is it Willis's dairy? I wonder if he wrote how much he loves me in here? Hold on let me check . . .

. . . . . . . . . . Checking . . . . . . . . .

Teehee! I didn't actually check. I just wrote a bunch of dots. I lord Blondie have successfully done something. I don't know exactly what I have done or if it will achieve my goal of taking over the lavender castle, but I have done something. Lavender is such a pretty co

* * *

Sorry again! Stupid people messing with this notebook.

"Takeru get off of me. What do you want?" I asked.

"I want to finish my sentence. You can't just leave it like that."

"I can and I will."

"No, you can't."

"Shut up Takeru."

Anyway, Yamato was crying like a little girl and Mimi was trying to comfort him.

"My hair, my beautiful hair!" Yamato yelled for the billionth time.

"It's okay, it will grow back." Mimi said.

"But I'll have to be ugly until then!"

"You're not ugly Yamato. You're very handsome." Mimi said.

"I don't want to be handsome. You make me sound like a dork. Only moms call their sons handsome. I want to be hot!" Yamato yelled.

"Yamato, you look good. Would I lie to you?"

"No. Do you think Sora will like me now?" Yamato said.

"Well, you are controlling her. She wouldn't like you though if you weren't. She likes guys with. . .a lot of hair. I mean, just look at Tai!" Mimi yelled.

"Will you marry me then?"

"What?"

Yamato got down on one knee and proposed again, taking out a huge diamond ring. It was really sad. Not in the sad because it's so beautiful way, but sad in the he has no life way. Yamato is stupid now too. Well, Mimi said yes and everyone cheered or almost everyone.

"This wasn't supposed to happen! How am I supposed to propose to Willis when you already stole the spotlight? You're such a jerk Yamato. I hate you!" Takeru said.

"Shut up Takeru." Yamato said.

"No."

He then got down on one knee and proposed to me. After I said no, he started crying. I just rolled my eyes and walked away. There was a carriage waiting for me outside the castle that would bring me back to the hotel. Then I would pack my bags and leave this place for good. I would finally be rid of all the craziness.

* * *

Well, there's going to be one more chapter. I didn't realize it was so long. Please Review. 


	6. End

I'm so sorry for not updating this in so long! I thought I put this chapter up, but I didn't. Oops!

Disclaimer: Don't own Digimon.

* * *

It's been a week since my last entry. I can't remember the whole week! I really wish that I could because then I would know what was going on! I'm in some strange pink room with all these stuffed animals wearing a dress.

I was trying not to freak out, but what else could I do. Just then there was a knock on the door. Shortly after Shiro walked in. Did he kidnap me or something?

"Well, I don't think I need you . . ." He couldn't stop himself from laughing at me.

"It's not nice to laugh at people. Now tell me where I am and why am I in a dress?" I said.

"Don't you remember a thing?" I shook my head. Obviously I don't remember anything or I wouldn't ask a question like that. "Well, after the party everyone claimed Takeru a hero. Yamato gave Sora back to Tai. Ken and Miyako finally went to Australia. Daisuke became famous for some odd reason. Kari ran off with Miotimoe. And Joe is now doing a plastic surgery reality show in America. Now for you, well. . ."

"Maybe I don't want to know yet. Did Yamato and Mimi get married?"

"Yes, and Cody was abducted by aliens. And today I will be moving in with Jun. We're going to get married. I just came here to give you the keys to the castle. It's all yours now."

Mine? Why is he giving me his castle? And what does he mean by _all_ mine? Doesn't Yamato live in the other half? Unless him and Mimi moved somewhere else. That has to be it. Why would they give me the castle though? Unless. . .no that can't be the reason.

"Did you figure it out yet?"

"Oh my dear aunt sally! He didn't! No, please tell me he didn't." I yelled.

"What do you mean?" Shiro asked.

"Takeru didn't. . .he didn't. . .we're not. . ."

"Married? Yes, you are. Sorry. He took control of your body with the black rings." He then started laughing again.

"Shut up! It's not funny! I'm married to a guy!"

"I think I'm just going to go." And then he left.

I would have killed him if he didn't leave. This better just be some kind of a joke. If it's not the somebody is going to die, and that somebody is Takeru. How dare he do this to me?

"Willis, I'm home!" Takeru said as he entered my bedroom. He's so dead.

"You're dead. I'm going to kill you." I said.

"Silly, you're not going to kill anyone. You love me."

"I do not! Tell me that this is a joke!"

"It's a joke." Few, I knew it. "But really it's not. We got married. I just said that because you told me to say it."

"I want a divorce now!"

"Shut up! You will remain married to me or I will wish you were dead." Takeru said.

Whoa! That was the scariest thing I've ever been a part of. I so scared of this guy. He's going to kill me.

"Oh, look we got a post card from Hikari Kari and Miotimo. They went to Hawaii and oh. . .that's too bad. Miotimo got skin cancer. I guess it wasn't a very good idea to bring a vampire to Hawaii." Takeru said.

"Um. . ."

"Next week we're watching Ken's kids okay?" Takeru said.

"But. . .but. . .there's like twenty of them."

"You're point? Don't talk to me like that. You know I'll kill you." Takeru said.

"Yes sir."

"That's a good boy. You do what I say." Takeru said.

He's so scary and so. . . hot!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I woke up and started to swing my arms around. "No! Why? No!"

I then looked around to find a bunch of people staring at me. Where was I? This isn't where I remember being last. Hey, what a second. . .I'm on an airplane. When did I get here?

My last entree. . .it's. . . YES! I haven't gotten to Japan yet. All that was a dream. I'm not married to a guy. I don't have to watch twenty kids next week. I still have my Hikari Kari, I mean Kari. I still have my sanity!

* * *

For some reason I don't think Willis does have his sanity. Anyway, thats the end of the story. Thank you to all that have read this and please review. 


End file.
